Destabilise
by iremainsilent
Summary: The Erudite leader has been captured and executed. The war is finished but Eric still faces his punishment. I here I lie, the silent wife of Eric, leader of the traitorous Dauntless, waiting for it all to end. Eric/OC AU. Remember to Read & Review please :)
1. Chapter One

_"This is the calm before the storm, one last siege to break the norm, so I can lie here on the floor, beside you."_

_- Enter Shikari, 'Destabilise"_

* * *

I have been lying in this bed for days. Two long, silent days to be exact. I know that I am part of Dauntless, that I should be brave and face the days that come, but I can't get out of bed. I don't want to face my fellow Dauntless. They are shouting and yelling about Jeanine Matthews and her execution, the ruthless Erudite leader who would have murdered more of my kind of she had been given the time. But they are also shouting about someone else execution. I can barely think about, never mind saying it out loud. It makes it too real.

I hear a knock on my Candor bedroom's door. I don't move and I don't make a sound. Surely they will go away if they think I'm not here, so I sink further into the bed and pray that they go away. Instead, I hear the door creak open. Slow, quiet footsteps fill the room.

"Anna, are you awake?"

Oh god, it's Four. I notice another set of footsteps but I don't look up. I don't want Four to see the tears falling down my face.

"Anna, I know you're awake. I need to talk to you."

I wipe my tears away and slowly sit up. Four is sitting on a chair next to my bed and I notice Tris standing beside him. She looks awkward, as if Four dragged her here. Knowing Four, he probably did.

"What is it Four? Coming to take even more away from me than you already have?"

"That's not why I'm here. We are here to ask you to be one of the new Dauntless leaders. You were the weapons master and the leaders thought that you would be a good choice," he said slowly.

I started laughing. I laughed so hard that tears were rolling down my cheeks.

"You would have me execute my own husband? What are you, mad? You and your leaders can go fuck yourselves Four."

"It doesn't have to be this way. He is guilty, he has even admitted it. But you would know that if you had been to see him."

"I can't. I don't want to see him like that. "

"You need to see him."

"Has he asked for me?" I asked quietly, not really wanting to know that answer.

Four looked at his hands.

"No," he says quietly.

"Then why would I go see him, when it is clear he doesn't want me."

I got up and opened the door.

"I think it would be best if you both leave now."

"Anna, I know it's going to be hard but he has done too much. I want to forgive him too but he has killed in cold blood. He killed a child without a second thought. Please reconsider taking the leader position."

"Fine Four, I'll reconsider on the leadership front, but only if his execution is taken off the table. I don't care what you do with him, just don't kill him," I begged.

"That's not my decision to make. But I'll tell the other leaders about your request."

* * *

I decided that I needed to make some sort of an appearance. I dressed myself in black army pants, my black combat boots and black tank top. Then I put on his black jacket. His scent washed over me and for a second I almost didn't walk through the door. But I thought about what he would say to me.

_"Suck it up Anna, what are you, weak? Or are you scared to face everyone?"_

I'm not weak or scared. I headed out the door with my head held high. People were looking at me and whispering. I saw one Candor boy whispering to a Candor girl so I grabbed him by the neck of his white shirt.

"What are you all chattering about?" I ask harshly

The boy fidgeted and mumbled something. He looked like he was about to wet himself so I shook him hard.

"What was that? I couldn't hear you."

"I said, people are saying that you are the wife of the Dauntless traitor Eric," he whispered.

I drop him on his ass and stalk out of the corridor.

How did people know about me and Eric? It was never made public. Only a handful of people knew. I was just the silent wife, on the side like a trophy. Eric was allowed to do what he wanted, as long as I never heard about it. I didn't even get the choice of marrying him, having been promised to him by my father when we were both in Erudite together.

I remember my father saying that Eric was going to be a great and powerful man someday, that I should be proud to be called his wife. That wives were servants of their husbands, to be at their every beck and call. Just like my mother.

So I followed him to Dauntless. That was one of the only things I have never regretted. I was regretful about falling in loving with him though. Regretful and ashamed. That was never a part of my plan. I was going to be a dutiful wife, look after him and maybe give him a child, but I was never going to love him.

I walk into the cafeteria and sit at an empty table, picking it and piece of bread I'd collected for myself. Others ran around, laughing and yelling, in their own little bubble of happiness. I saw Tori, Harrison, Four and Tris walking towards my table. I groan in annoyance and lower my stare.

_"Sit up straight, sweetheart, the Dauntless don't slouch."_

I shake his voice out of my head as they sit at my table. Tori sits next to me, whereas the other three sit on the opposite side.

"What do you want?" I say through clenched teeth.

Tori speaks up.

"We want you to be our fifth leader. But you already know that because Four has already asked," my eyes flicker to Four, "and he told us about your request."

"Yeah, so what?"

"Have you even seen him since we captured him?"

"No," I whispered, "I haven't been able to bring myself to do it."

"Then why do you want him to live?" Tris blurts out, her face going red like she is embarrassed that the question escaped from her mouth.

I give her a hard stare.

"Because he is my husband and I love him. I want him to suffer, but I don't want him to die."

Tori passes me a piece of paper.

"Go and see him. Talk to him and then get back to us. We need you Anna, and not just for your weapons skills."

I get up abruptly, scrunching the piece of paper in my hand, and walk away.


	2. Chapter Two

It's midnight and I've been staring at the piece of paper that gives me the security clearance to go see Eric. I miss him, but I'm pretty sure he doesn't miss me. I know what I am to him. I'm his easy lay, I give he what he wants when I can't get it anywhere else. I was just an annoyance in his former easy life. But now, I don't know what I will be to him. My door opens and Four walks in. He looks tired and exhausted. He sits down next to me.

"Are you going to see him?"

"Should I even bother? You know what he's like Four. He probably thinks that I'm at the forefront of his execution."

"I doubt he thinks that Anna. He always knew that you loved him. He tried so hard to make you hate me, to make you see him as he sees himself. I don't want him to die. I want him to allow himself to be saved. But Eric has a history of making everything difficult. Being his friend was hard, so I could imagine what being his wife would have been like."

I want to try the subject. Scratch that, I need to try the subject.

"So…you and Tris huh?" I ask lamely.

He gives me a sheepish smile, one that I have been waiting forever for Eric to give me.

"Yeah, I know. Only in Dauntless would be Stiffs find each other."

I place my hands on his and stroke his cheek.

"Four, we have been good friends since initiation, and I'm just so happy that you have found someone. She clearly feels that same about you. Do me a favour though?"

"Anything," he says without hesitation.

I stand up and walk towards the door. Before I exit, I look at him over my shoulder.

"Don't ever let her go."

* * *

When I hand of my security clearance to the guards, they look at me suspiciously and check me for any weapons. Like I'd be that stupid.

They lead me to Eric's cell and open the door for me. I see Eric sitting in a chair, sweating and slumped forward on the chair like someone literally dumped him there. On second thought, they probably did.

I ask the guard to get me a first aid kit. His eyebrows rise and I tell him that this is not the way a prisoner should be treated. He races away to get the kit and hands it back to me. I smile and turn to face Eric.

His lovely brown hair is greasy and not styled. He looks lost and my heart breaks. I place the first aid kit on the floor and gently lean him back. He winces and I see the stab wound in his stomach. I feel my heart try to jump up my throat but I ignore it and start the slow process of taking off his shirt.

As I'm cleaning his wound, he grabs my wrist.

"Why are you helping me?"

His voice is raspy, like he hasn't talked in days. He probably hasn't.

"Because it's getting infected," I say, pulled my wrist out of his grasp.

He leans back and doesn't say anything else. He moans when I start stitching the wound up, but he looks up at the ceiling. I finish and sit on the ground in front of him.

"Why did you kill that kid?" I ask, my voice trembling.

He looks at me and pain flashes across his face.

"I didn't have a choice," he mutters, looking at his feet.

"Eric, you always have a choice. Our choices make us brave, or turn us into cowards. Killing a child is cowardice."

"Anna, I _didn't _have a choice. Do you really think I would kill a child, considering what we went through before this whole mess started?"

He glances at my stomach before looking at his hands. I know what he is referring to. We promised each other that we would never mention it again. But Eric was always one to break the rules.

"You shot him point-blank, I saw the video," I whisper.

"It wasn't me! I had no choice, I couldn't control what happened! And you know what, I'm gad that bitch stabbed me in the gut! It was the only way to stop me."

I blink the tears away. I have to.

"What are you saying Eric?" I ask, standing up.

"The attack simulation. All the Dauntless were under it, all of us. That never excluded me. I could barely deal with what happened to our child, let alone kill someone else!"

I stand there shocked. I have never heard the words 'our child' come out of his mouth. I always figured that he thought it had come from nowhere.

"Have you told Four?"

"No, I've told that fuckwit anything because he wouldn't believe it. And now Jeanine is dead, who is going to tell him otherwise. He thinks that I'm a monster because of what happened to you."

"No, he doesn't, he-"

"You probably told him that it was my fault, that I murdered our child because I hated being with you. You're selfish bitch! I never did anything to you, and-"

I slap him, so hard he almost falls off his chair.

"You aren't a monster and I would never say that to anyone. I'm the _only _one trying to save you, even though you are a pathetic excuse for a Dauntless member. Sometimes I wish you were more like Four!"

"And tell me Anna, how many times did you wish you that Four was fucking you when I was?! Yet you pretended to love me!"

"I always loved you Eric, whether you deserved it or not. I will have someone look into your blood work to see if you were under the control serum. I will try my hardest to have your execution cancelled. But you will never, ever accuse me of not loving you."

I turn and walk out. I see Tris standing there, looking at me with a perplexed expression.

"Why are you here?" I ask her tearfully.

"I was checking on him. I didn't know you would be here."

"And why would you be checking on him?"

She looked at her shoes.

"Because I'm the one that stabbed him," she said quietly.

"Good, that asshole deserved to be taken down a few notches."

I left her standing there.


	3. Chapter Three

The next morning I walk to the cafeteria, grab some food and sit at my empty table. Tori makes a beeline for my table and I stand quickly, scanning for an easy exit. I begin to walk away and she grabs my wrist.

"What the hell is your problem!" she screams at me.

Everyone is now quiet, looking in our direction. Confusion settles in and my body fills with dread, leaving my legs feeling like lead.

"Not here Tori," I almost beg her.

Four and Tris and walk over quickly, but Harrison tells them to stay back.

"Why not? I think everyone should know that you gave Eric a visit."

"You told me to!"

"I didn't tell you to stitch him up and get someone to look into his blood work! He is a cruel and sadistic murderer Anna! Why can't you see that? He killed a kid for good sakes, in cold blood too!"

"No he didn't Tori. He wouldn't!"

"And why not?"

"Because, when we lost our child, he couldn't look at himself. He blamed himself for so long, he wouldn't even look at me! He would never kill someone else's child. He didn't do it" I screamed, falling to my knees.

Four ran up to us and dropped to the floor, hugging me close to his chest. I sobbed. Everyone now knew that not only was Eric my husband, but that we had conceived together, and lost a child together.

Tori squatted to meet me face level.

"I didn't know Anna. I…I swear I didn't know. But we can't pretend that he is innocent. We can't just let his actions fall to the way side. He is going to be executed tomorrow. At 9am. We can't let him get away with what he has done."

I can't look at her. I run from the cafeteria like I'm running from a pack of hungry animals. And they are hungry, hungry for Eric's blood.

* * *

It's 8:30am and I am dressed in all black. Eric's jacket is slung across my shoulders as though it is a shield. I don't allow myself to shake. I'm not weak.

I walk slowly to the integration room. The Dauntless are standing in a semicircle around Eric. He looks more dead than alive. His eyes are empty, like starless nights. I remember a time when his eyes held an internal fire that couldn't be dimmed.

Tori stands in front of him.

"Would you like me to tell you your crimes or would you like to list them yourself?" she asks.

Eric scans the crowd for a few seconds, and then his eyes settle on me. He laces his fingers and sets them – gingerly – on his stomach. I feel my resolve start to fall apart. What about the examination of his blood work?

"I think my wife should read them out, don't you? After all, she was meant to be my life partner and all."

He seems like the arrogant prick everyone knows him for, but I notice his hands tremble when he moves them. Even he is afraid of death.

Four looks at me, an uneasy look on his face.

I hold my head up high and list his charges, the ones I have heard about.

"You conspired with Erudite. You are responsible for the deaths of hundreds of Abnegation. You betrayed Dauntless. You…you shot a child in the head…" I say before I have to stop.

I can't continue. Four puts a hand on my shoulder.

"It's okay Anna, that's enough."

"Is it though?" Eric asks, smiling manically at Four.

I close my eyes.

"Anna, you forgot about me cheating on you. Oh, and that you blame me for the death of our child. You can't forget that one."

I feel horrible. I can't breathe properly, like my lungs have failed on me. I'm not brave at all. I'm scared and I want to run. Then there's knock on the door. Everyone is quiet as Tori tells the person to come in.

It's Cara, and she is looking at me. She holds out a piece of paper for me to take. With trembling hands, I take it from her and read it.

It's the results of Eric's blood test. I can't read it outloud, so I hand it to Four. He reads it, pauses and then speaks.

"We can't execute him," he said to Tori quietly.

"Why the fuck not Four? He is clearly guilty!"

"Cara did a blood test and it shows traces of the attack serum in his system. He was under Jeanine's influence. He wasn't in control," he says louder, so all of Dauntless can hear him.

My eyes meet Eric's. For the first time that I have known him, he looks scared. I'm scared too.


	4. Chapter Four

Four tells me that Eric has been placed in a holding cell and that now he has been 'spared' I am required to join the Dauntless leadership. I'm not really listening to him, but make him take note that I will be a silent leader.

I won't take on initiates, no matter if they are original Dauntless or transfers. I will give weapons lessons to those that succeed in making into Dauntless. I will be present at meetings and have a say in all decisions. But most of all, Eric will be my responsibility. I will make sure he behaves.

Eric has lost his leadership title. He is not trusted with any sensitive information. I am not to discuss leadership meetings with him. He will not have any involvement with the initiates. He will report to Four. He is on probation. He is not to be trusted. He has to see a psychologist from Candor.

"He's going to be brought to you tomorrow night. I know it's fast but Tori says that he's yours to look after."

I nodded emotionlessly.

"Are you going to be okay Anna?"

"I suppose I have to be Four. I wanted him back, I swear I did, but now I don't know what to do," I tell him, putting my head in my heads.

I feel his hand rub my back as someone knocks on the door. Four tells them to enters and I look up to see Tris. She gives me a weak smile.

"Tobias, can I speak to Anna alone for a minute?"

I nod to Four to let him know that it's okay. He leaves me with Tris and she takes his seat.

"I know we have never really spoken before but I also know you are a close friend of Tobias'. I wanted to apologise for…stabbing him I suppose," she tells me.

I laugh. She gives me a look that makes me think that she thinks I'm unhinged. I think she could be right about that.

"I don't mean to laugh Tris. To be honest with you, I wish that I had been the one to stab him. But I want you to know that he was never this bad."

"Did you really cheat on you?" she asks timidly.

"Yeah. But the way we got together wasn't exactly normal. We were paired off when we were in Erudite together by our parents."

"You were _both _in Erudite?"

"Yeah, we were. Whereas Eric was mostly perfect for that faction, I never was an up standing Erudite. I hated studying, being kept inside all day. Kind of makes me think that Dauntless was the only, yet perfect choice for me. And being promised to Eric and having to follow his faction choice wasn't hard as I thought. At least you lot from Abnegation got some form of a choice," I say gently.

"I didn't know that happened in Erudite. Would that happen to my brother?"

"Nah, because he is a transfer. Tell me, how long have you and Four been an item?" I ask.

She looks like she is nervous talking about it.

"A few months I suppose. But I really just…" she trails off.

"You love him, you don't understand how it happened or why, but you wouldn't want anyone else in the entire world?" I finish for her.

She nods her head slowly.

"That's how I feel about Eric sometimes. People have never seen Eric behind closed doors. He feels like he has expectations, that he should act a certain way to show that he isn't just an Erudite transfer. But he used to be kind to me when we were alone."

"But he cheated on you.."

"Several times. He'd come back to our apartment reeking like booze and cigarettes. Once, I actually saw lipstick marks on his neck. But I don't want you to think I sat back and took it all like it was nothing. I got even with him. I am in Dauntless after all."

"Who did you cheat on him with?" she asks quietly.

"I pretty sure you don't want to know Tris."

"Tobias."

It isn't a question but a statement. I nod.

"It was a year before you met him, we were both insecure, and drunk, and we never did it again. Once was enough for me. I don't have to love someone to fuck them Tris."

"You had sex with Tobias. I don't know what I think about that."

"I would never do that again, and neither would he. I can tell by the way he looks at you that he is utterly devoted to you. Haha, I'm actually jealous of you! I wish Eric looked at me like that."

Tris holds me hand in hers. I expected her to be angry with me, to hate me. But she isn't and doesn't. Instead, she smiles.

"Well, anytime you need a timeout or a chat, I'm here. I'll probably need advice from you," she smiles sheepishly.

"Wait a minute, are you telling me that Four hasn't, you know, done it with you?"

"Well, it's not just him."

I giggle at the way she blushes.

"Sex is a natural act. If you aren't ready, he will wait for you."

"But I am ready! I just don't know what I'm doing…"

"It will come naturally. And the beauty of having sex with the person you love is that it's unchartered territory. It's new and exciting and you only experience that once. Just be sure you are ready."

She laughs and smiles at me, which I return.

"I came in here to help you, yet it seems that we've somehow switched positions," she says in an amused way.

"Anytime," I say as she gets up and walks out.


	5. Chapter Five

It's the next evening and I'm sitting on the edge of my bed, waiting for Eric to be dropped off to my room.

We all relocated back to the Dauntless quarters. I was just thankful to be back, in my own, familiar room. _Our room,_ I tell myself. This is where I shared my space with Eric. This was our apartment that we shared as husband and wife. How things had changed. Whether it was for better or worse, I wasn't completely sure.

I was pulled out of my thoughts by a loud knock at the door. I slowly walked over and opened the door. Eric stood there with Four.

"Hey Four," I said calmly.

_Stay calm, stay calm, stay calm, _I told myself.

"Hey Anna. Just here to drop _him _ off. If there any problems, let me know."

I nodded and moved to the side to let Eric in. Four caught me wrist and pulled me back before I could follow Eric inside.

"I'm serious Anna, if he starts any shit, you tell me straight away and I'll deal with him," Four says sternly.

"Thank you," I whisper as I give me a hug.

I turn and walk inside. Our apartment is modestly, as all Dauntless apartments are. There is a kitchen, dining area and living area. Off tot the right side is the bedroom. We don't require much more space, as Dauntless are usually out and about. Especially now, since we are back to patrolling the streets and the fence.

Eric is standing in front of the chest of drawers, looking at the photo of us I had placed there a year ago. It is a photo of the two of us, shortly after our small wedding ceremony but just before the celebrations. He picks it up and examines it as though he has never seen it before. To be honest, I don't think he has ever looked at it before.

I clear my throat.

"Are you thirst? There's small cold water in the fridge if you are," I ask politely.

He ignores my questions and puts the photo back on the drawers. He looks around and then faces me.

"You cleaned the apartment," he states.

I can't look him in the eyes. I feel like his gaze will shatter me into a million pieces.

"Um, yeah, we haven't been here for a while and the place was dusty so…"

"You never did like it being dusty. I think I'm just going to go to bed, haven't slept in one for a while," he says walking into the bedroom and closing the door.

I watch him leave and lean against the kitchen counter, wrapped my arms around my torso. I miss _my _Eric, the Eric only I knew. This Eric is just…defeated.

* * *

I wake up on the couch and check the time. The numbers 5:30am glare at me, and I glare back. I'd slept in my clothes from yesterday and think about returning to my office. It wasn't really an office but being from Erudite making me think of it as such.

It's a massive room with weapons such as throwing knives, ninja stars and a few different guns off to one side of the room. I guess a few were taken when we were under attack. I sigh in realisation that I'm going to have to re start my collection. Damn.

I practise for a while, keeping my thoughts trained on the feel of the knife in my hand and the way it hits my target. We have four weeks to prepare for the new initiates, but I'm required to train the new members. I have to be perfect, otherwise my flaws will show in the training. I continue practising until my arms are sore and I can hardly hold my knife.

I walk to the mess hall and smile. Nothing has changed. There are still food fights, people stuffing their faces with Dauntless cake and running around the tables chasing each other.

"Yo, Anna, over here!"

I turn and see Four sitting with Tris, Zeke, Uriah and a couple of others.

"Anna!" Zeke yells, enveloping me into a bear hug.

"Zeke, you nutcase!" I yell, hugging him back.

I settle down at the table, intent on shovelling as much Dauntless cake into my mouth as I can, laughing at Uriah and Zeke tease the crap out of each other. This feels normal and it feels right.

About half an hour into dinner, the doors open and the mess hall goes quiet. I see Eric step inside, aware that every set of eyes are set on him, mine included. Just because he was pardoned doesn't mean anyone has forgiven him.

To break the tension, Zeke grabs a large piece of my cake and smooshes it on Uriah head.

"You bastard, that was my cake!" I yell, tackling him.

Uriah hollers and backs on top of me, then a few other people join in. That takes the attention off of Eric, who slinks into the background, like he's trying to melt into the shadows. Somedays I wish he would.

We dismantle ourselves from the pile of bodies and resume our meal. I block Eric out and focus on my friends. Tris leans in to talk to me.

"Have you spoken to Eric yet?" she asks quietly.

"Not yet. I'm so pathetic, all I've been able to ask him is if he was thirst."

"I'm sure it will get better."

"Yeah, maybe. But what's this I hear about you and Four sharing an apartment together?" I ask, taking the focus off myself.

Tris blushes as Uriah tries to make pretend sex noises.

"What are you doing, screwing an animal?" Zeke teases him.

Uriah and Zeke start pulling punches as we laugh and start teases Four. He blushes worse than Tris!

I lock eyes with Eric and he slips out of the mess hall. Zeke stops fighting with Uriah and gives me a push in the back.

"Go get him tiger," he laughs and winks suggestively.

I stand up and follow Eric.

It's time I acted like the Dauntless I am.


	6. Chapter Six

**Warning: A graphic sex scene is coming up in this chapter, so you've been warned!**

Eric's POV

I snuck out of the mess hall and all but ran to our apartment. I closed the door and leaned on it heavily, catching my breath. What the hell was happening to me. I knew I had panicked when I had entered the mess hall. I was ashamed that I felt like that. I'm Eric, former Dauntless leader, and I'd panicked like a little girl.

I moved to the couch and placed my head in my hands, frustrated with myself. Would have closed my eyes, but every time I did, I saw that Candor boy I'd shot in the face. I couldn't sleep, eat or think about anything without seeing that image, the way his body slumped to the ground. I wish I could hold onto Anna, tell her what was going on, but that would be weak. I am not weak. I am Dauntless.

I'm still staring at my hands when I hear the front door creak open. I look up and see Anna walking towards me, slowly and careful, like I'm some kind of animal that could attack at any moment. But I'm exhausted and hope she sees it in my eyes. I think she does because she sits next to me and starts gently rubbing my back.

That's all it takes for me to break. My unshed tears give way and I find myself hugging her, clinging on for dear life. I'm broken and weak and only she can hold me together.

"Eric, it's okay, everything is going to be okay," she whispers softly in my ear.

"I need you," I whisper back, my hand caressing her cheek.

I look her the eyes and see fallen tears streaked down her cheeks. I can't help myself and I lean in the kiss her tears away. My hands find their way to her waist and she puts her arms around my neck. I kiss her on the lips, softly at first, but the heat inside me intensifies and my kisses become more desperate.

I pull her into my lap so she is straddling me, her knees on the outside of my thighs.

"I missed you," she whispers to me.

I can't hold myself back. I rip her t shirt off her and begin kissing down her jaw line as she tries and work my own t shirt off my body. I lean back so she can pull it off. She throws it behind her and I explore her body. Her milky white skin glows in the moonlight coming from the window. I shiver beneath her touch. My hands are in her hair, feeling the soft, sleek tresses as I stroke them. I pulled away and look her in the eye.

"I love you," I tell her quietly.

"I love you too," she says, caressing my cheek.

I stand up, taking her with me. She wraps her legs around my waist as I carry her to the bedroom. I gently place her on the bed and she pulls me into her, flipping us over so she is on top of me.

She suddenly has her hands on the belt buckle, undoing it and pulling it out of the belt loops. She throws it behind her before unbuttoning my pants. I stop her, putting my hands on top of hers.

"What's wrong?" she asks tearfully.

"Are you sure you want to?" I ask.

She takes my hands and puts them to each side.

"Yes, Eric, I'm sure," she says as she unbuttons and unzips my pants.

She pushes my pants down to my ankles and begins rubbing my dick through my underwear. I'm hard and she knows it.

I'm so nervous. We haven't been intimate for a long time and she is the only person who can make me feel this way.

She pulls my underwear off and those and my pants fall to the floor. She quickly loses her own pants and goes back to her original position between my legs. I want her now, but I know I should wait. She is in control. Tonight, she isn't mine, but I sure am hell hers. I'm putty in her hands and I'll let her mould me into whatever she wants me to be.

Her hands runs up and down my length. I suck in air as I try to control my breathing. Key word: try.

She has never touched me like this before. All our previous encounters felt forced, like we were supposed to fuck because we were married and therefore it was an expected task.

But not this time. This time it feels natural, and most importantly, it feels right.

I moan when she puts me in her mouth and starts bobbing her head up and down. I grab a fist full of her hair but I don't force her to go fast like I want her to. She gets the hint and her rhythm picks up speed.

"Fuck," I groan out loud.

I can feel the pressure building up and I pull her head up, stopping her.

"Is something wrong?" she asks quietly.

"God no," I said as I pull her lips onto mine, "you so good," I whisper seductively in her ear.

I feel her shiver as I flip her onto her back. I rip off her panties, which are soaking wet and slide my finger into her entrance. She moans and her hips arch off the bed, giving me better access.

"You're so wet for me baby, aren't you?"


	7. Chapter Seven

**Warning: This chapter also contains graphic sex scenes, therefore please read with caution :)**

* * *

Anna's POV

Eric slid his finger into my entrance and I instantly moan. He leans downs to my face.

"You're so wet for me baby, aren't you?"

"Oh god yes, Eric," I moan loudly, hoping no one has returned from dinner yet.

His finger is joined by another one and he slowly pushes them in and out of me as I buck my hips, begging for more. He pulls them out and grabs my waist, pulling me towards him.

"Are you ready?" he asks hotly.

I nod as he aligns himself to me. Our skins in slick with sweat, our bodies radiating heat from our desire, our lust.

"Please Eric!" I beg.

"Please what?" he asks as he playfully nips at my nipple.

He latches on and sucks caressing, licking and sucking. I feel like I'm about to explode.

"Fuck me, please fuck me!" I scream.

Suddenly, he slams into me, moaning as he sildes into me to the hilt, as deep as he can go. I arch back from the sensation. I feel complete, like we are finally one entity, one being.

My hands claw his back as he begins to thrust in and out of me.

"Oh, Anna, you feel so fucking good baby," he groans into my ear.

My legs are wrapped around his, but he grabs one and puts in in the air, so my ankle is resting on his collar bone. He goes into me more deeply than he ever has before. I scream with pleasure before he is pulling out.

"What are you doing," I sigh and moan at the sometime, my brain has fully stopped functioning properly.

"Turn around and get on your knees," he demands, his voice full of lust.

I comply, turning around and getting on my knees. Eric grabs my hips and pulls me forward. His dick enters me from behind and I feel my ass slap against his hips as he pushes himself in and out.

"Eric! Oh god, I think I'm going to…to…oh!" I scream as we came together.

He collapses on me and I can feel his chest rest and fall against my back. He kisses behind my ear and down my neck gently and I realise this is the first time we have ever stayed like this after sex.

He rolls over and pulls me into his chest. I place my hand over his chest and make shapes on it with my fingers. His hand is stroking my hair and he kisses my forehead.

I quickly fall asleep as he pulls the blanket over us.

* * *

I wake up in the morning to an empty bed. I listen for any noises in the apartment but hear none. I wrap the sheet around me and begin my daily shower routine, picking out some clothes from my dresser and turning the water in the shower on.

I stepped into the spraying water and thought about last night. Eric had me so turned on, like never before. I couldn't stop thinking about it. I cupped my hand to my entrance and began teasing myself. I moaned softly.

I jumped slightly when I felt a pair of hands grab my waist. I went to turn around but was pushes against the tiles wall of the shower.

"Starting without me?" Eric whispered.

All I could think was, _To hell with my morning routine._


	8. Chapter Eight

After a morning lesson of honing the new Dauntless members' knife throwing skills, I started to make my way down mess hall. After this morning's activities I was a little worse for wear. I also couldn't stop thinking about Eric. I sat down with the group and turned to Four.

"Hey, have you seen Eric?"

"No, he reported in with Tori but I don't know what he was up to after that. Why?"

"Just realised that I hadn't seen him. I might go check the apartment,"

"Just remember that there is a leadership meeting tonight," he yells.

I gave him a thumbs up and started making my way to the apartment. I made it to the door before I heard a smash. Quickly, I opened the door to reveal Eric, whose knuckles were cut and bleeding. He turned away from me and went into the bathroom, locking the door. Stepping over the shards of broken glass, I knocked on the door.

"Eric, are you okay? What happened?"

I heard the noise of the bathroom cabinet open and close. I lean against the door and sigh.

"Please talk to me Eric."

"Anna, just this once will you leave me the fuck alone!" Eric yells behind the door.

I hear a loud thump and assume that he just punched the door. I knock on the door again.

"Just fuck off!" he yelled at me again.

"If you don't come out, I'm going to have to report you to Four," I say quietly.

The bathroom goes quiet, which tells me that he heard what I said.

The door opens to show an angry Eric, glaring at me as though he is trying to burn a hole through my head. He stalks towards me and I back away. I feel the counter hit my back.

Eric places his hands either side of me, trapping me between himself and the counter.

"What did I said Anna?"

I turn to look away from him but he grabs my chin and forces me to look at him.

"What the hell did I just say Anna?!" he screams in my face.

"Fuck you Eric!" I scream back at him, holding back tears.

He steps closer, leaving barely an inch in between our bodies. I can feel the anger rolling off him and my stomach churns.

"Pretty sure you fucked me this morning, my _darling wife_. And I seem to remember you enjoying it," he sneers at me.

"Why are you doing this?" I say, my body trembling.

Why is he trying to hurt me?

"Because I can, because it makes me feel good, great even," he smirks.

I slap him. I red mark instantly appears on his face and he stands there stunning. I use that moment to duck under his arm and move away from him. He stares down at the bench and clenches his fists.

"I'm so sorry," he says quietly, "I don't know what's wrong with me."

"Maybe I should have let them execute you Eric, because you haven't changed a bit," I said, running out the door.

* * *

Eric's POV

Her last words to me run through my head all day. I managed to steal a bottle of scotch from some kid, I think he's name is Uriah, and headed down to the bottom of the chasm. Rocks formed unsteadily on the ground, rising in all directions as the water rushed around them.

I uncapped the bottle and brought it to my lips.

About an hour into my one person drinking session, I heard footsteps behind me. I groggily turned around to see Four walking towards me.

"Hey," he simply said, holding out his hand for the bottle.

"Whatever," I reply, handing him the bottle.

He took a swig and handed the bottle back.

"What are you doing here anyway? Is everything okay?"

I laugh bitterly.

"Yeah, everything's just peachy, which is why I'm drinking at the bottom of a chasm."

"Note taken. I'm guessing something happened between you and Anna?"

"Wow, you must be a genius, sure you shouldn't be in Erudite?" I asked him sarcastically.

"Nice answer. Seriously though, she gave you another chance. Most don't get that. What did you do?"

I sighed and handed him the bottle.

"We had a fight."

"Okay and what was the fight about?"

I rubbed the back of my neck, unsure where to start.

"I have been sleeping," I said, look at my hands that were now in my lap.

"Why?" Four pressed on.

"Every time I close my eyes, I keep thinking about all the people I killed under the attack simulation. Especially that Candor kid," I told him, taking the bottle from him.

"That wasn't your fault man, and I'm sure Anna would understand."

"She does. But I lost my shit and broken shit and then she comes running in. I told her to fuck off but she just wouldn't drop it. I was a complete fuckwit to her and then she said…" I trailed off, feeling my eyes start to water.

"What did she say Eric?"

"She said that she should have let me get executed because I haven't changed. She fucking hates me man," I rumbled.

That scotch was starting to hit me hard.

"And we fucking made love for the first fucking time last night," I sob.

Four pulls me into a bear hug, and I hug him back. I know I'm drunk. I know that I'm going to so fucking regret telling _Four _anything tomorrow, but someone is there for me and I can't help but vomit all my words out.

"Uh oh," I slur.

Then I actually vomit, right down Four's back.

* * *

Anna's POV

It's about 12am and as I'm getting ready for bed I hear a knock on the door. I walk slowly to the door and lean against it.

"Eric, if that's you just go away. I've had enough," I said sadly.

"It's me, Four. I've got Eric with me but…"

I opened the door to reveal Four with a very drunk and passed out Eric. Four's got Eric's arm around him to help keep them both upright. I move aside and gesture for Four to dump him on the couch.

"What happened Four?"

"I found him drinking by himself at the chasm. He told me what happened between you guys."

I blush, embarrassed because knowing Eric, he probably went into vivid detail about everything.

"Thanks for bringing him back I suppose," not knowing what else to say.

"He has to go to the Candor psych tomorrow, don't let me forget," Four said as he walked out and closed the door.


	9. Chapter Nine

**Hi all, just a quick reminder to please read and review! I'd love to hear any suggests, thoughts and ideas on what guys would like to see in the fic. Even criticism will be appreciated.**

**Thanks**

**iremainsilent x**

* * *

I woke up at 8am to the sound a large crash in the kitchen. I jumped out of bed and tore the bedroom door open. Eric was on his hands and knees in the kitchen, picking up glass. I instantly dropped to my knees to help him.

"Sorry, I dropped the glass," he mumbled, looking away from me.

"Are you okay?" I asked him.

"Yeah, it just slipped out of my hand."

"Did you remember that you have your psych appointment today?" I muttered.

"Yeah, Four told me that they'd be taking me there soon."

We finished picking up the glass and then stood in silence. A part of me felt horrible about what I had said to him. It had been said in anger and I hadn't meant it at all. I just couldn't stop the words falling out of my mouth. Eric cleared his throat in an attempt to to capture my attention and I turned my head to face him.

"I really am sorry about yesterday Anna, you know that right?" he said hesitantly.

"Me too," I allow myself to say.

There was a loud knock at the door and I sigh.

"That'll be my ride," Eric said lamely.

"Yeah."

"Well, I'll see you later,"

I watched his back as he walked through the door. When did things become so difficult between us?

* * *

Flashback

_I stood in front of my mirror at home, trying to fix my hair. It was long and seemed to stick out in random places. I knew my dad would have a fit if I went out there looking like a mess._

"Who will marry you if you look like you just got out of bed all the time?" _he would growl._

_I heard a knock on the front door and sighed. He was here. The man (or boy, really) who I was to be promised to. How I hated Erudite traditions. Dad had said this boy was going to be a leader of Erudite one day, he was just _so _brilliant. I rolled my eyes at the thought and walked out of my bedroom._

_I could hear the murmur of voices from down stairs and knew that I should probably make my way down. _

_At the bottom of the stairs was my dad, shaking hands with another man. They were laughing together about something from work. I walked towards my dad and gently put my hand on his arm to let him know that I was there._

_"Ah, Anna, finally! This is Rodney from my work. Rodney, this is my beautiful daughter, Anna," he told the man, pushing my forwards a little._

_I held out my hand and shook his._

_"Well Anna, more importantly, this is my son. Hopefully you two will connect," he said, flashy a toothy smile._

_The boy behind him steps forward and takes my hand in his._

_"I'm Eric," he said, kissing the back of my hands._

_"I'm Anna," I blushed._

_"You look lovely tonight, _Anna_."_

End of flashback

* * *

I shook my head as if I was trying to shake the memories out of my head. Eric had always been smoothing and charming when he wanted to be, and it just didn't include when he was around our parents. He had most of the girls at school fall in love with him but the time he was 15, even a couple of the Amity girls had crushes on him.

Everyone had been so sure that he would pick Erudite at the Choosing Ceremony. I had prayed that he would choose differently.

We had been married the day before our aptitude tests and two days before the Choosing Ceremony.

I remembered how angry our fathers were when he had chosen Dauntless, because it also meant that I had to choose Dauntless too. I remembered feeling free for the every first time, although that feeling didn't last long. Eric made sure that everyone knew I was off limits, that I was his. I thought his head was going to explode when he found out I had befriended Four, until Eric became friends with him too.

Then everything fell apart and now I'm stood there in our kitchen, alone and wondering what Eric was telling his psychologist.

I didn't think much would come of it because to be honest, I always thought that Eric never really understood himself.

Eric was back by lunchtime. He came in and started telling me that the psych business was a crock of shit and they were just using the Candor truth serum to get information about Erudite out of him. I stood, listening and nodded my head.

He collapsed onto the couch and sighed in frustration. Eric had only liked to hear the truthfully things about others, never himself.

His hands went through his brown hair as though he was trying to wipe his thoughts away.

"Was anything about it good?" I ask him hesitantly.

"They told me I should be more honest with you," he told me bluntly.

I nodded, not knowing what to say.

"Oh, and they think that it would be a dandy idea to talk to my father. You know I can't stand that prick," he said angrily.

"How would that help anything? I mean, he hates you for choosing Dauntless!"

"Yeah, well I'm going to try talking to Four, get him to tell them to put it off. "

"You know he'll agree with them though," I rationalised.

"Well he likes you, always has. Maybe you could talk to him about it," he said, standing up, "I mean, you guys are BFFs or whatever,"

"Really? Are you seriously going to be like that?! I'm an inch from kicking your ass out the door Eric, and I mean it! I'm trying to be understanding and let go of things. We could put yesterday behind us, and you're going to stand there and put Four in the middle? Like a weapon to try and hurt me?" I said angrily.

"Well, you did it first, if I remember correctly. He's the one you went to for a shoulder to cry on. I mean, if I have to be honest for _you_, it really fucking pissed me off when you fucked him."

"Oh, and what about that whore you fucked, in our bed? You seem to have forgotten about her!"

"You are such a bitch!"

"Yeah, well you're an asshole Eric!"

He stepped towards me but I wouldn't back down.

"What are you going to do?" I asked him heatedly.

Then he crashed his lips onto mine.


	10. Chapter Ten

For the whole next day I ignored Eric. I avoided him, even going so far as to eat lunch in my office, which was connected to my training room. I was staring off into space when I heard a knock on my door.

"Who is it?" I asked tiredly.

"Just me, Tris."

"Come in then."

Tris slowly walked in and closed the door behind her. I sat back in my chair and gestured for her to sit in the chair opposite my desk.

"What's up?" I asked.

"I thought I'd ask how everything is going. I noticed you weren't at lunch and Zeke mentioned that you liked to hide out in here. Do all the training masters have their own office?" Tris asked.

"Yeah, we're just lucky like that," I laughed.

"So…how is everything?"

"Pretty much as expected. Eric gets angry at me, I get angry at him, then we have sex and ignore each other the next day. Isn't that what dysfunctional couples do?" I asked sarcastically.

"Wow, that sucks. Have you guys ever tried, you know, talking about stuff?"

"That doesn't really work with us. We haven't ever really 'talked' about stuff."

"Maybe you should. He is probably having a really hard time expressing himself. You know, he is the former leader of the Dauntless. He probably feels like a bit of a loser," she reasoned with me.

"I don't think he'd talk to me anyway. He's really difficult and talking about his 'emotions' isn't something he has ever really done. It's not what he would call a Dauntless trait," I answered.

"If I were you, I'd sit him down and have a talk. Have a smaller version of the round table conversation. Think about it at least?"

"Yeah, maybe…" I trailed off.

* * *

I thought about what Tris said and somehow deluded myself into thinking it may work. I knew Eric was off trying to talk Four into getting the meeting with his day cancelled, so it gave me plenty of time to execute my plan. I set up the table and cleaned the apartment. Then I thought about what I would say, what I would ask and most importantly resolved that I would not have sex with him. That would be a hard one, given our recent track record.

I was tired and exhausted of fight with him, only to have sex with him straight after. It needed to stop.

I was sitting at the table when he walked through the door. He looked worn down and slightly agitated.

"What's this?" he asked, gesturing to the table.

"We need to talk Eric," I told him bluntly.

"Ok?" he half questioned as he sank into the chair opposite me.

I looked at my hands nervously as I cleared my throat.

"We need to be honest with each other Eric. We fight and yell and then fuck and I can't do it anymore. All the fighting and bickering makes me exhausted. I'm sick of this cycle we've created for ourselves. It's not normal."

"Have we ever been normal Anna?" he laughed quietly.

"No, but that doesn't matter. At least I'm trying here!"

"And I'm not?! I'm going to these stupid fucking therapy sessions, I'm the one that's been outcast, I'm the one that's hated! And you telling me you're _trying?!_"

"Eric, I am. But you need to tell me what's going on with you! You need to talk about what's going on, instead of ignoring it and pretending that it's not there!" I yelled.

This plan was not working.

He gave me a hard look and closed his mouth. I took his hand into mine and looked him straight in the eyes.

"I love you Eric. And I can't stand to see you like this. I almost lost you forever. Please, let me in," I begged.

I felt the tears well up in my eyes, but I didn't look away. He gave me a strange look and sighed, putting his hand through his hair.

"Anna, I'm a mess. I remember what I did to those people in the war. I remember shooting that kid, how out of control I was. I couldn't stop, I had no control over my own body. And I have to live with that every day, every night, every time I close my eyes. I'm a failure Anna, can't you see that?"

"So what, am I supposed to give up on you?" I choked.

"Maybe it's for the best Anna. I've hurt you enough to last a life time. I don't deserve you."

"You are not a failure Eric. There is so much you can do! Prove to everyone who you really are, not who you think you should be. Yes you are Dauntless, but you aren't cold hearted."

"Are you sure about that Anna?"

"Yes. I saw how you were when we lost our baby. You're not cold-hearted. You're lost."

"How do you always see the good in me Anna?"

"Because, I know that there is good inside you Eric. Do you remember the day of the Choosing Ceremony?"

*Flashback*

_Eric and I stood side by side as we waiting to enter the room where he would choose our faction. I could tell he was nervous, even though he had put on a cool and confident front. He grabbed my hand whilst looking straight ahead, waiting for the doors to open._

_"Are you ok Eric?" I whispered._

_He looked at me and gave me a half-hearted smile. Then he said something unexpected._

_"Do you want to be an Erudite?"_

_"Does it matter?"_

_"Yes Anna, it does. Today we choose our future. I need to know what you think if I have to be the one to choose it for both of us."_

_"Then no, Eric, I don't want to be Erudite. I don't want us to be like our parents. I want to be free."_

_He only nodded and went back to staring at the door. _

_Suddenly, they opened and we were ushered into the hall where all the grown-ups were waiting for us. I shivered with fear. I realised how tight I was holding Eric's hand and loosen my grip._

_Marcus Eaton took to the stage, blithering on about how we were choosing our destiny and how we would be leaders in shaping our city, but I didn't listen. All almost everyone in our group, I was staring at the table in front of us and the five bowls that held our destiny._

_The process began and I gulped. Many Erudites chose to stay in their faction; a couple went to Amity and Candor. Then Eric's name was called. He walked up the stairs with his head held high. He walked up to the bowls and then looked at his father. Hate burned in his eyes. Then he turned his gaze to me. His eyes softened and I began subconsciously fiddling with my wedding ring._

_Then he cut his hand and let his blood drip over the hot coals._

_Before he turned to join the new Dauntless members, he looked up at me again and mouthed something to me._

'We are free.'


End file.
